To all the girls I loved before
by enelle1989
Summary: "Y'know, kid, it always bothered me." "Shoot." "How many girls you've been with?" Inspired by Nate's journal from UC2 and a song of the same title. Spoilers ahead.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, everything belongs to Naghty Dog, Sony and other respective owners.

I am not an English-speaker, so if there are mistakes, forgive me, I'm doing my best to avoid them.

* * *

"Y'know, kid, it always bothered me."

"Shoot."

"How many girls you've been with?"

Nathan Drake gagged on the beer he was drinking.

"Holy crap, Sully," he choked out when he caught his breath anew after a few coughs, "what that supposed to mean?"

"You heard me," Sully answered poker-faced, blowing out a cloud of gray cigar smoke into the cabin air. "Want me to repeat?"

"No, spare me," Nate waved his hand, "but why on earth so unexpectedly?"

"Oh, you know," Sully shrugged, not letting go of the aircraft's control column, "you're pretty much a son for me and I guess a father should have this kind of a talk with his grown-up boy once in a lifetime. Besides," he gave Nate a mischievous gaze, "it's pure curiosity."

"Ah, _curiosity_ ," Nate rolled his eyes. "I bet you just wanna check who was the greater playboy."

"Maybe," Sully chuckled. "So, will you tell me or you need a hand in counting?"

Nate sighed heavily and leaned against the seat, taking a quick look through the airplane window. There was no use killing the clock; they were somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic ocean. Nate was coming home after paying a quick visit at the Mongolian ministry of culture and because of protracted negotiations he missed his flight. As it turned out, Sully was at that time in China, trading some (probably illegal) stuff together with Samuel. Sully willingly offered Nate a free ride home, while Sam decided to stay a couple of days longer, "sightseeing" old temples.

"Well, let's see…" he sighed again, tapping on a bottle with his fingers and scanning through his memory, then gave Sullivan a mischievous gaze. "Repeat: you wanna know, how many girls I've been in love with, or how many girls I only slept with?"

"Ha!" Sullivan chuckled, "I knew there was a distinction. Let's say those you loved, first."

" _One_." Nate answered quickly and firmly, without a second of hesitation. Sullivan snorted like a horse - they both knew whom Nate had in mind.

"You mean… _one_ _hundred_?" asked Sullivan, and both laughed loudly. "Okay, kid, I'm buying this," Victor lied. "How 'bout those you _only_ slept with?"

"Like a nine…?" answered Nate after a short pause, that he probably spent on counting.

"Well," Sullivan made a little smack, "nice score. Yet mine's better."

"Congrats, Sully," Nate chuckled, "so I guess we may drop this subject already."

"Why are you so nervous about that, kid? I could understand if I'd asked you with how many guys you've slept with…"

Nate laughed sarcastically, "Sully, you're sooo close to push your luck. I don't see any need to talk about my ex's…"

"Think 'bout that for a second, kid," Sullivan continued fearlessly, "did you ever wonder, what kind of man you'd be now, if you hadn't met on your path any of these girls?"

"What do you mean?" asked Nate. Victor glanced at him, finally catching his full attention.

"Each of them had an influence on you. Taught you something new, comforted you, showed you things you didn't know… and I don't exactly mean just _these things_ , kid," Sullivan stressed, noticing Nate's goofy gaze. "Some of your decisions might have been different if you never met them. Besides, there's nothing bad in reminiscing good, old times, is it?"

Nate took a sip of beer then gazed through the window; he unexpectedly felt ashamed of himself for automatically categorizing every relationship except with Elena as a 'sex-only' relationship. The old man probably was right; come to think of it, that was way too superficial.

"Well, guess it's nothing," he answered. "But I surely made both good and bad choices when it comes to women. Do you remember…"

 _…Marisa? Marisa, Marisa what? Chase - we searched together the lost city of Quivira… Ah, yeah, now I remember - that was that little girl, who talked only about her grandfather's work? The same. She was… strange. Nice and strange in the same time, but very smart.. and brave. Well, to be honest, this thing actually ended quicker than it began. Like… most of my relationships. But you remained friends? Yeah, actually last year I sent her some stuff I found 'bout her grandfather. Thought she'd like to keep it. Y'know kid, I also somehow knew that it won't click._

 _And then was that girl from Indonesia… Which one? There was more than one? No, but… I meant Eddy Raja's sister… Ah, Rika! Oh, sure. Well, I guess that one counts as a 'bad choice'. Definitely. Gosh, it seemed sooo gross when I learned that she was his sister… Oh, I get it, I had the same feeling when I messed around with those two beautiful waitresses in Mexico and it turned out that they're twins… Yeah, yeah, I get it, Sully. The truth is, I never saw her again after the events with Pinkerton… fortunately for her. By the way… I learned then that double-crossing is not sexy. Not at all._

 _Then goes my goddamn favorite… Chloe. Yeah, 'atta girl. Definitely 'good' and sexy choice, kid - that's my boy! Well, we have a history… Every time I met her she surprised me with something new… she was super-clever. And had a gorgeous ass… Can't argue with that, Sully. Cutter is a lucky guy. But to be honest, kid, I guess she could have loved you then, in Nepal. …she sure could. I suppose this one last time it was me to broke her heart. Kid… this sounds terribly absurdly in your mouth._

"On the other hand…" Nate started after getting a final sip of his beer, "if I didn't run on Elena in Nepal, I would surely be with Chloe now..."

"Maybe…" answered Sullivan, breathing out another cloud of cigar smoke. "Who knows, what would life be like now…"

"Yeah…" Nate sighed, gazing at the flushed moon on the night sky. "But I like the hand I've been dealt," he quickly added, just in case to prevent the old man's further sentimental talk. "I don't regret anything. Really."

Sully watched Nate for an instance. The kid has gone a really long way. There wasn't a hint of that little devil he met decades ago. He didn't waste his life, although many times Sullivan was sure he will. Suddenly, for the first time, Sully felt that sense of well-fulfilled, paternal duty.

"So…" Victor raised his eyebrows, "now that I know how many of them were, would you tell me who was your first?"

Nate snorted, throwing an empty bottle to a shopping bag between his feet.

"No way," he replied, chuckling. "Forget it."

"Oh, come on," Sullivan continued, "wasn't that girl in Ipswich? What was her name… Georgina?"

Nate frowned at the old man, shocked.

"How the hell you know her name?"

"You have a memory like a sieve, kid," laughed Sullivan, entertained by the view of ridiculously disconcerted Nate. "Thanks to her I got you out of a jug after you got caught breaking into the Augustinian priory's main building! The lock-up warden turned out to be her father! You had to be… fifteen at that time?"

"Sixteen," Nate answered, rubbing his eyes. _This is a nightmare_ , he thought to himself _._

"Oh boy… what did you do to her?" Sullivan sighed, still unable to stop smiling, as he watched Nate running his fingers through his hair. "I've never seen any girl so hopelessly and completely infatuated… She fought like a lion for you! By the way… wasn't she a bit older than you?"

"Sully, seriously…" Nate muttered. If looks could kill…

"You were _this_ privy to _these things_ already at the age of _sixteen_?"

"Sully," Nate frowned at the old man, who was already laughing his lungs out, "stop it, or I'm gonna jump out of this goddamn plane!"

"Unfortunately, I don't have parachutes, kid…"

"To hell with parachutes! Been in worse trouble than that."

* * *

Ending of the fanfiction in next chapter.

Just a short note: in Nate's journal there's a mention about a girl named "Georgina", then comes a phone number and a short note "Ipswich, Feb 1992". It's the earliest info about a girl in his journal. As Nathan Drake is said to be born around 1975/1976, by the year 1992 he had to be at least sixteen (btw, he met Sully in Colombia in 1991, so everything clicks).

I got the dates from Uncharted Wikia.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, everything belongs to Naghty Dog, Sony and other respective owners.  
I am not an English-speaker, so if there are mistakes, forgive me, I'm doing my best to avoid them.

* * *

It was already late after midnight when Nathan got out of the taxi cab in front of his house in New Orleans. The air was noticeably chilly and fresh, it prickled his cheeks and he could notice his breath. Winter finally came to the city and tiny silver petals started falling from the sky. It was a rare and short-lived view here, as the snowflakes melted almost instantly after touching the ground. Still, it emphasized the atmosphere of the upcoming Christmas.

There were no lights turned on the first floor except for the decorated Christmas tree, but Nathan could notice a faint glow from the bedroom window upstairs. Probably Elena wasn't sleeping yet.

"Elena? I'm back," he announced as he crossed the doorstep.

"C'mere, we're upstairs," his wife's low voice reached him from the first floor, just like he expected. He quickly took off his jacket and shoes then rushed up the stairs to their cozy bedroom.

Elena Fisher was laying on bed in one of his old shirts, covered with blankets, her back pressed against the headrest. She was holding a little bundle close to her heart. "Hi," she greeted Nate, as he entered the room and sent him a joyful, yet a bit strained smile. Nate jumped on the bed, scooting close to her.

"How are you?" he asked, gently wrapping his arms around her shoulders and hugging her, then he connected their lips with a gentle kiss. Her skin was soft and warm and her shoulder-length blonde hair loosened. "You look tired," he said lovingly after they broke the kiss, gently stroking her cheek.

"Oh, y'know," she whispered, "looking adequately to situation. Just managed to feed her and put to sleep," Elena made a gentle shrug, indicating a baby sleeping in her arms. "You're lucky that you weren't here half an hour ago. She got upset about something so badly that probably whole neighborhood heard her. Wish I could understand what was it."

"I guess it's because she missed me," Nate leaned over and nuzzled gently baby's tiny hands. "Right, little girl? You missed your daddy?"

"Shh, Nate!" Elena hushed him quietly, pressing a child closer to her chest. "You don't wanna wake her up, do you? What took you so long? You said you'll be back this morning… I started getting worried. You could have give me a call or something..."

Staying in touch was never his strong side. Nate sighed, then laid back on a headrest next to her. "I know. I missed my flight," he whispered back, stretching himself and yawning, "Sully gave me a ride home."

"Oh, he saved you again," Elena smiled, stroking her husband's hair, "guess that without him you would still be somewhere very far away from here, in the middle of some overcrowded airport…"

 _Yeah, but I surely wouldn't be so worn out by all his sentimental bullshit_ , Nate thought, rubbing his eyes, happy that Elena couldn't read his thoughts. "Sure, god bless Sully," he chuckled, then took Elena's free hand and pressed a series of gentle kisses to her fingers.

"I missed you so much," he whispered, then looked deep into Elena's eyes, "shouldn't leave you for so long, 'specially now, when she is so little."

"One of us had to go. It'll have to be like that for some time. Unless…" Elena sent Nate a playful glance, "you learn to breastfeed. Then we could take turns."

Nate snickered.

"I'm flattered that you think me as a talented guy, but I guess in that field you're irreplaceable. By the way," Nate leaned to brush his lips over her collarbone and below it, "how much longer will it take? You know… before I get back what's mine…"

"Watch your mouth, cowboy," Elena giggled quietly, sliding a hand between them and gently shoving her husband aside, "you keep forgetting that we have an underage in the household now!"

"I didn't," Nate answered, sending her a boyish smile. "Just joking around. She's the boss right now," he added, adjusting a blanket covering little girl's hands to warm them up. Elena watched his gentle moves and smiled, cuddling over.

"We missed you too," she whispered softly, burying her face in her husband's neck.

They laid together in silence, relaxing and listening to each other's steady breathings, filling their senses with each other's presence, keeping their peacefully napping daughter between them. From the moment she was born, these few-day-long separations turned out to be harder to endure for both of them. Nate truly blamed himself for leaving Elena alone with all this mess, but their D&F business had to be on the run all the time if they wanted to make decent money out of it. They had deadlines, had to get new permits, prepare future schedules. Nate already had booked his tickets to Mongolia for next week - he had to square away further stuff for their new archeological discovery. But it didn't matter now - he decided to leave these thoughts and enjoy his time at _his_ home.

"Nate," Elena suddenly slid out of his arms, ready to get up together with a little bundle, "could we go to sleep already? I'm exhausted-"

"Wait-" Nate whispered, reaching for his daughter, "let me hold her for a moment. I haven't seen her for three days."

Elena smiled at him, then carefully leaned across the bed and handed off a baby girl to Nate. "Be careful, watch her head-" she murmured, "there she goes."

Nathan took his daughter in his arms and gently held her close to his chest. The girl made a short squeal in a dream and slightly rose up her little hands. He readjusted the blankets in which she was covered and tenderly stroked her head.

"Hi there, Cassie," he greeted her quietly and softly. Elena gazed on them for an instant, then walked towards the bathroom, leaving a father and his daughter alone.

Cassie had to inherit Elena's ability to fall into deep sleep anywhere because she curled against her dad's chest just like she did when she was in her mother's arms some seconds ago. Probably both places were ideal to sleep on for a three months old infant. Nathan regretted that he got home too late to admire her blue eyes, but in the same time he just couldn't be more surprised by the amount of cuteness his daughter represented, even during her sleep. She was so vulnerable and soft, something so precious in his strong, rough hands.

"How have you been?" Nate whispered, "what crazy things you've been doing with your mom all day that you're so sleepy now, huh? Tell me, Cassie?"

Obviously he didn't expect Cassie to answer these questions; she made a funny, silent mumble instead. _It will do, for now_ , he thought.

"Yeah, it's been a hell of a day for me too," Nate chuckled, lifting himself with the baby from the bed and heading towards the bassinet. "But I'll tell you tomorrow."

Before he put Cassie in the bassinet, he stopped to watch her closely. He studied her little nose and tiny hands with tiny fingers, that she strongly clenched on the blanket. Her short, light hair, of nearly the same color as her mother's, so fluffy and soft. She had surprisingly long eyelashes; she breathed steadily through her mouth. His biggest treasure, fragile like a powder.

Nathan smiled to himself, as he felt Elena's hand gliding gently between his shoulder blades - he didn't notice her earlier.

"C'mon," she whispered, burrowing her cheek against his arm, "tomorrow is a day too. It's a miracle that she didn't wake up yet…"

"Did I ever tell you," Nate murmured, as he looked into Elena's brown eyes, "how happy I am that instead of letting me go to hell and forgetting about me, you tracked me down in that jungle?"

Elena watched Nate for a second then snickered.

"So you're also glad that back then I packed you a punch in the face?"

"That… less," Nate answered, chuckling quietly, "but if you gave up on me that day… Cassie wouldn't be here now."

It sounded so cliché and simple, but Elena realized the hidden, emotional meaning of Nathan's unexpected confession.

"I know," she whispered, patting his back. "I don't regret anything."

Nathan turned his head to watch Elena as she climbed on their bed, making sure she was far enough from him and was making too much rustle with the sheets to hear him. Then he pressed a reverent and gentle kiss on his daughter's little forehead and whispered quietly, almost inaudibly, a few words that he had been carrying with him all day long.

"You're the girls of my life."

* * *

Here it goes - hope you liked it :)


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